Welcome back to The Couples Blog. This week I wanted to chat about something that I struggle with daily. We’ve all heard the age-old saying “don’t sweat the small stuff” but that is much easier said than done! Being someone who is very empathetic I tend to take things too personally and mull things over for an extended period of time. As I work through this, I wanted to share some ways that I try not to let things bother me.
“Being negative only makes a journey more difficult. You may be given a cactus, but you don’t have to sit on it.”
– Joyce Meyer
What Am I Feeling?
When dealing with something that is bothering you the first step and arguably the most important is to identify how it makes you feel. Are you angry? Sad? Hurt? If you know what the feeling is it is easier to deal with and find a solution. Sometimes our feelings mask as other feelings. You may be angry but deep down you are hurt by what was said or done.
Why Am I Feeling This Way?
Usually, something has happened to make you upset. Maybe someone said or did something you did not agree with. Look inward and really identify why you are feeling this way. Perhaps a stranger yelled at you but that’s not the real reason you are upset it’s because someone used to yell at you constantly in your life. Sometimes it’s not about the current incident but what the current incident triggered emotionally.
Consider Both Sides
Everyone has a story we know nothing about. This person could be taking out their bad day on you and it really has nothing to do with you or the situation. Changing your perspective of the situation can give you a better understanding of that person as well as yourself. You always give others the best advice so remove yourself and try to take the advice you’d give to someone else in the same situation. When you take yourself out of the situation you give it less power to bother you.
Don’t Take Things Personally
Unless someone is bashing your character or it is someone who you are close with, do not take things personally. This is something that I used to struggle with especially in my bartending/serving days. Every time someone would complain I would take it as a personal attack on me. It isn’t personal, that person is having a bad day and this is something they can control. More times than not I would see that person again and they would apologize for their attitude or demeanour.
Is It Worth It?
Will you be worrying or bothered by this in 5 years? No? Than it is not worth ruining your day today. A great friend mentioned this to me and it stuck with me. This helps me in not sweating the small stuff. It’s a way to look at the big picture and let things go. At the end of the day, all we can control is how we react to situations. So, you choose how you want the situation at hand to define itself in your life. It could be a small thing that turns into a huge blow-up or it could be something you let go, you choose.
I hope you gained some helpful tips on not letting things bother you. As I said at the beginning much easier said than done but using these tips should help you when problems arise. If I missed a tactic you use to not let things bother you please share down below in the comments. I hope everyone is keeping healthy and safe as we get into the colder months and flu season. I will talk to you all next week with another post.