Welcome back to another week with your favourite bloggers. I hope everyone is having a wonderful week and is getting all in the spirit of Thanksgiving. Yes, here in Canada we celebrate Thanksgiving in October. With the holidays coming up I wanted to discuss the importance of boundaries this week. Boundaries are something you don’t always think about in your personal life but can be crucial to your sanity and wellbeing. I think it is important to set boundaries in your love life, family life and even within yourself. So, let’s dive into why boundaries are important and how to set healthy boundaries in your life.
“Boundaries aren’t about trying to control someone or make them change. Boundaries are about establishing how you want to be treated, self-preservation in a chaotic or dangerous environment, and a path to healthy relationships.”
– Sharon Martin, LCSW
What are Healthy Boundaries?
Healthy boundaries are the limits you set for your mental, physical and emotional wellbeing. Everyone has limits and setting boundaries can help you communicate where that line is drawn. Someone who has established healthy boundaries can say “no” to others but can also open themselves up.
Signs of a Lack of Healthy Boundaries
- You fail to speak up for yourself when being mistreated
- You give way too much of yourself to others
- You attract people who overpower you
- You feel guilty dedicating time to yourself
- You feel taken for granted by others
Benefits of Setting Healthy Boundaries
- They will reduce resentment in your relationships
- Gets rid of toxic relationships that no longer serve you
- They set precedence in your life
- You’ll end up giving more to yourself than others
What Healthy Boundaries Look Like
- Being aware of your feelings and expressing them freely
- Prioritizing yourself and your needs
- Recognizing that it is not your job to fix others
- Sharing personal information gradually based on trust
- Saying no to things you don’t want to do or do not have the resources to do
Tips for Setting Healthy Boundaries
Know Your Limits
It is important to establish your limits in a situation. Know exactly how far you are willing to go or not go and stick to that. Otherwise, you will end up giving a little too much until you’ve given far too much of yourself.
We are taught from a very young age to respect others. Respect their personal space, their feelings, etc. But something that escapes us is the importance of having self-respect. Remember that your needs are just as important as someone else’s. So always remember to respect your personal space, feelings and wellbeing in general.
When trying to set boundaries with people or situations DO NOT BE SHY. Say no in a respectful manner but with dominance. This shows where your limits are and that you will not be pushed farther than that. Of course, there are compromises in certain situations, only compromise if it is within your boundaries.
Do not Apologize or Give Long Explanations
No one needs to know why you are setting these boundaries for yourself. It is for your mental, physical and emotional health and you do not need to explain or apologize for taking care of yourself.
This isn’t something that will happen overnight. It takes time to develop, implement and carry out healthy boundaries. I hope this will assist you in setting healthy boundaries in your personal and professional relationships. To all of our Canadian readers please have a happy and healthy Thanksgiving weekend. Enjoy the time with family and friends (with boundaries of course) and eat way too much turkey. I am so grateful to be on this journey with all of you this past year. THANK YOU! Until next week…